I write to see what is in my awareness, to think about things freely without judgment, to work through hard things, to imagine good things…freewriting and also giving permission to follow particular threads or topics has been a practice off and on since 2010.
Today I have 100 days of writing on 750words.com for at least the second time ever, though I think it has been a few years, and maybe sine 2010. One day in October I did not finish my writing, though since the end of September I have written every day. This is telling. There is something working well with this. Some months earlier in 2018 I only completed some days even though I had some streaks of over a month too. But looking back in 2017, there were many more days that year I did not write at all on the site, though I was keeping a journal. So this yearly perspective is valuable; when some other metrics or life situation parts are less inspiring to see.
Writing is one of the most consistent things in my life. Recently there have been a few days where it was the end of the day and I still had not done my writing, around 8 or even n10 pm. This is rare since I often to it first thing.
Between not having internet, getting sick, and having a dog that decides my daily schedule I asked myself if I wanted to keep it going. I could barely do it sometimes and did so with head pain, tired…on a cellphone hotspot a couple of times.
So many things I have not kept going — work, meditation, yoga, running…sickness, triggers, grief, and injuries all got in the way at times. But I am managing to keep up with writing. Something may happen tomorrow. But if so, it will still be here. It is so important to recognize and celebrate that I can do things, I can do something every day, I can write (even if not totally in complete sentences all the time), and I know this is going to happen, if I make it happen.
Writing has become a refuge. It is a place to be however one is. It takes energy. It can reveal patterns about our lives and the world, or just new ways of seeing. And it can be used as a tool and a gift. It can build neural pathways.
And if today is day 1, then great, do that, and notice how it feels.